Messengers of Mercy: Teaching Hard Lessons to our Kids

There are so many lessons in life. Lessons we welcome and lessons we wish to rebuke. Lessons that we hold dear to our soul and lessons we want to pray no one else has to learn the way we did. And as single parents, the lessons we are forced to learn and teach are sometimes those that we would have never dreamt on our worst enemy. These lessons are the lessons our hearts ache against before, during, and after the dreaded teaching and learning of them.

As I sat across from my little girl at the table; chips, salsa, torn out paper, and a pencil in her grasp. The sweetest view in front of me, but for some reason my heart just didn’t feel total contentment. I looked across the table and saw a little girl with a split family. I saw a little girl who was carrying far more weight than her little body ever was made for. Then, like an out of body experience, I looked at myself. I saw a mom who has been dealt some tough cards but doesn’t show them to just anyone. I saw a mom who looked at a little girl, who was drawing her homes on a torn piece of paper while eating chips and dip; dreading the lessons that she was about to have to endure and regretfully teach to a four year old. In both people, I saw newness and rawness to a situation that could never be undone.

Though, she was joyful. She was happy to draw and have “big talk” (that is what she calls our convos without baby brother). As she drew, she talked out so many sweet words and she, oppositely, expressed many that I wished she didn’t have to speak or even think at her age. But given the circumstances, she always will have those moments. As I sat there and listened, and watched, and assured her she can always tell me everything…. I wondered why she was chosen to learn these lessons and, also, why I was chosen to teach them. But then, as I watched her smile as she drew her puppy at Mommy’s house and her friends at Daddy’s house, I knew that she is resilient and optimistic. I then knew that the way I taught these formerly dreadful lessons would be setting the foundation of how she views the world, not just her homes.

That’s when I reflected on a few verses. First, Matthew 5:15-16. These verses in Matthew say, “ People don’t light a lamp and then put it under a basket but on a lamp stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine in front of people. Then they will see the good that you do and praise your father in Heaven.” As her light and her lamp, it is my job not to taint the way she views the world but to light it up even more. My purpose is to teach the lessons I never wished to teach in a way that gives light to each person that encounters us. My opportunity is to lead my little girl back to Jesus each day, lesson by lesson, so that the way she views the world is a world saved by grace and not struck with despair.

Another verse that puts these life lessons in perspective is Psalm 78:2-4 which says, “ for I will speak to you in a parable. I will teach you hidden lessons from our past – stories we have heard or known, stories our ancestors handed down to us. We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders.” This verse is hope. It is hope that we can allow our children, in due time with respect to their age, insight into our past. In fact, they can learn the lessons of our past. The most important part, though, is that we conclude those lessons with examples and teaching of the glory of our Lord, about his power and mighty wonders just as the verse said. Again, it is imperative in our parenting that we paint a picture of a world saved by grace and we allow hope to creep in and shut out any darkness that attempts to loom in our midst.

Oh single mama, or sweet single dad…there is hope. In fact, there is living hope. Our fallen world is not the end, praise Jesus. And the lessons we are sometimes forced to teach our innocent children are some of the seemingly hardest steps we will take. Take heart, HE has overcome the world. Take heart, HE is our living hope. Take heart, HE is gracious to fulfill our every need, and the very needs of our children. Remember, we are granted opportunity, not burden, to be the messengers of mercy in the lives of our littles. He will guide us, he chose us.