“Restlessness and Impatience change nothing except our peace and joy. Peace does not dwell in outward things, but in the heart prepared to wait trustfully and quietly on Him who ALL has things safely in His hands.”
– Elisabeth Elliot
Things were good. Things were actually great. It had been weeks since my kids acted out or even caused a minutes trouble really. It had been weeks since I questioned my purpose as a person and a parent. It had been weeks of looking and feeling like I had it all together. Things were finally changing. Life was coming together. But, when we get complacent, that is when we need a wake up call, I guess. During my weeks of all of this seemed “goodness”, unfortunately, it had also been weeks since I was on my knees seeking a holy encounter with the one who made those things good again. See, the last year was hard and I was reminded constantly to seek the Lord in the middle of the wilderness. I was reminded that I could not get to the other side without Him. But, there I was, finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel yet ignoring the source of the light. I quickly began looking for more. I starting forcing doors open that weren’t meant to open yet, or maybe ever. I was pushing people away who weren’t meant to go, at least not yet. I was (am) wanting the good to come abundantly instead of being patiently thankful for the small, beautiful doses. I had a taste of earthly goodness and wanted more.
So here I was, just a few days ago, feeling down again. Seeking temporary happiness rather than trusting God’s no, or not right now as a blessing that was coming. My peace and joy were turning into impatience and unhappiness, and fast. Thankfully, my selfishness only took over for a minute and God’s voice was louder. I kept feeling an overwhelming “its going to be ok”. Over and over, I would get frustrated and feel “its going to be ok.” I would voice my discouragements and hear a friend’s response, “its going to be ok”. Honestly, it wasn’t that I wasn’t ok… I just wanted all the good things without trial or tribulation. Yea right.
Sometimes, we hear and know it will be ok. But, is that enough? Because we don’t know when or how that will be true, it is hard to live in the waiting. Thankfully, we can rest in the all knowing power that He makes all things ok. And during the living, we can learn that small cracks of light aren’t a means to rip a door off its hinge with force. Those small cracks are just means to keep slowly letting the Lord work with a little WD 40 to get the door swung open wide.
The big wins are coming. Give it time. It’s going to be ok, because He said it will. Keep praising the small stuff because those wins lead to the victory that is ahead.
Sincerely, Sydney. 