It’s Heavy.

“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.’” Matthew 11:28 (NLT)

Gosh, the world is hard. The world is tough. The world is ugly. And the world sure has no mercy. The world is flesh.

If you’re like me, you don’t or didn’t rest much. Maybe it’s because of the past or because of the fear of the future. Maybe it’s because Satan has this life sucking grip on your soul that you feel like you can’t breathe. Whatever the reason is, it actually doesn’t get the final say on your rest. I used to never rest, and I mean NEVER. Sometimes, still, I get these hamster wheels in my brain that spin faster than the wheels of a car in a police chase.

Last week, these hamster wheels were going and going. I thought all of the worldly thoughts that create a weight that sits on your chest. Am I enough? Am I doing everything I can? Am I caring enough? Am I smart enough? Am I loving enough? Am I too selfish? Am I too demanding? Am I too emotional? Am I full of unwanted baggage? Just AM I!?!! I am the type who needs to know these things and apply them. I like to fix. In fact, I LOVE to fix. Also, I love to carry the weight. Well… I do not love it, but I feel like I would rather carry the weight instead of cause the weight. In turn, the burdens are so heavy! So just as the book of Matthew implies, heavy burdens (aka baggage) makes you weary and inhibits your rest. Not an easy thing to fix.

As I went into the weekend and even the start of this week, I finally realized…. it’s not my job. It isn’t my job to fix or to debunk the worldly ideas that come in my head. It isn’t my job to tell myself I’m enough. It isn’t my job to carry everyone’s weight. It isn’t my job to fix others either. Honestly, what it comes down to…. I am not Jesus. The weight of the world is not in my hands. BUT…. what is my job is to submerge myself in the truth of Jesus instead of the lies of the flesh. (Easier said than done. It is truly a daily battle.) As I do that, and I cover my flesh with the voice of truth, I do not have to tell myself I am enough. Jesus will. I do not have to tell myself I do not have extra baggage from the past. Jesus will. I do not have to tell myself I am worthy. Jesus makes me worthy. All of that to say, I can REST in the fact that Jesus has my worth and the weight handled. So as it is written in Matthew, I can give him my burdens to allow me to rest in the truth that is Jesus Christ.

Personally, I have dealt with things from divorce, to self doubt, to loss, and hurt. I have allowed the world to creep in and tell me that I am undeserving and unworthy. I have carried the baggage of myself and others. And, I have done it with a smile. But, today…. I can say that I have made a change and each morning I tell Satan to back up and sit down. Submerge yourself in truth. You will fail. It stinks. But his mercies are new, every single day! Rest in that! If I am unwilling to unlearn the habits of my past, I wont ever get to experience the goodness He has for my future.

Remember, It isn’t baggage if you don’t carry it around. Give yourself permission to drop it. Give yourself permission to cut the strings that bind your heart to the past. Give yourself permission to change the narrative. Give yourself permission to tell the devil his words have no merit here. Give yourself permission to believe the sweet voices that tell you that your “baggage” is actually a blessing that makes you amazing. Give yourself permission to stand your ground because Satan doesn’t get permission to make you pick up any extra bags.

Sincerely, Sydney.